Archer, who doesn't know how to shoot...

She said: It didn't mean not longer if we said there had no forever; and I might not be  your best one, but I loved you only. 

I was not sure what was she trying to say actually. Separated these two, I saw nothing; merged both two, I saw nothing also. I thought, she didn't use her brain for thinking like what I always said. Not forever, not eternity, didn't mean not longer? So, what was the longer in the life named LOVE? The memories? Or something else? If the important thing was recollection, why she always said she wanted to stay with me and hurt herself, changed herself often? That was not even a good way she choose I thought. 

For me only, the love, I could present it in so many ways. To hang out, to be the friends, the kiss only, communication only, watching only, and some other way to do. In the love, I was going to change myself to befit her, not tried to change her to befit me. I thought that was the main point of different between I and her also; I meant, I didn't such need her like she need me, I didn't love her deeply like she did. Or might be not, she might love me for only her fantasy. Obviously, I was not even a prince, ordinary like myself, just a person who you could meet at anywhere. 

The ordinary man, I meant, I had my own world, and always lived in there. I was the main role of that world. I loved myself deeply than everyone else, for my dream, I could pay any expense for completion. For example, I had stayed around of a girl, and didn't connect her. No wondered I loving her deeply when I was 16. I wanted her but I couldn't because of so fucking many reasons shit. people were limited when they were children, even teenage. After I was 18, I was 20, even 22,  I got the chance to earn her, but I still did not. Why I didn't when I wanted? Because of I knew what was good for her in my way, after I saw the eyes and the smile of the girl, I knew I would never come closing to her, never broke her countenance. Yes, after I knew she was in happiness. 

That was the best way I thought what I could do. The future had no chance given us for trying. The life was not the game, had no restart button could press. In my whole life, I tried to be the best for everyone who I loved, even not really deeply. In the movie "The butterfly effect", people could go back the past changing things, but after things of the past was changed, the future changed. The life had no people even like the role who was in the movie. Fate never gave me the second chance to chose. The only I could do was to pick up something I could control, even the thing kick me down in the pain and rack. 

"I will be the best for you because I love you. There has no reason can prevent me. But you might never know, you may ever hate..." I will say like this, in the end of this paragraph. People have different choices, and different ways forward, that makes people different. But even it is, I still am the best of someone who I love. Because if I am not, I have no right to love her or him. Present the best toward them, that is what I always say. 

After someone who said to other one; and the paragraph was not even a reply. 

Archer